


What you deserve.

by BlackArticFox



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain Harvey, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Jim, Insecure Oswald, Isabella never happened, M/M, Mayor Oswald Cobblepot, Season 3, So Oswald and Ed are friends, communication is key, they need reassurance, they're idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 10:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19744306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackArticFox/pseuds/BlackArticFox
Summary: Oswald and Jim are ready to celebrate their first month together as a couple; after being public for only a week they really were looking forward for a private moment together.However, when Jim finds a tabloid that questions the legitimacy of his feelings for Oswald; he realizes that, maybe, there are things that he still has to make clear before the relationship breaks.





	What you deserve.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CaptainChilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainChilly/gifts).



> This is a brithday present for the AMAZING [CaptainChilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainChilly)! My first fic-gift! I hope you like it, Cap; I tried my best to do the Hurt and then the Comfort. I mean, you do deserve to get good presents and here's my attempt! Happy Birthday!

It was weird to think where he stood now: Backstage at Gotham High School’s gym. The Mayor had been invited to give the graduation speech and had requested GCPD protection. Of course, Jim had asked Harvey to be the one to lead the escort, after all; who could be better to protect the most important figure in Gotham than his boyfriend?

They had only started dating a month ago- almost, next day it would be their one-month anniversary, but their relationship was already held to certain expectations after merely a week of it being made public. Most of which he didn’t mind meeting: Being seen together in public, using his position in the GCPD to assure Oswald’s safety, making Gotham secure as was promised during the campaign and standing next to the Mayor during social events.

Months ago, he would have never dreamed about doing that. Still trying to get over Lee and convincing himself that Oswald was, not just an awful choice as Mayor, but still a criminal with only his own interests in mind. However, the fight against Strange’s monsters and Oswald’s honest dedication to make Gotham the best she could be since his election had made Jim see beyond his initial assumptions.

Once Barnes had accepted him back into the department, Jim spent more and more time with Oswald, planning how the GCPD could be better used against the monsters, and all the feelings he had been able to suppress for years suddenly resurfaced again with more force than ever before.

When the chance he never thought he’d get finally presented itself, Jim took it.

And it had worked out, despite everything he had put Oswald through, the man still accepted him. Jim was not going to ruin yet another relationship; he had been wanting this for far too long and was determined to do everything in his power to make it work. Make it last.

A round of applause broke when Oswald’s speech finished and the Mayor limped towards him with a exhausted smile.

“Inspiring words, Mr. Mayor.” Jim greeted him with a smile.

“Teenagers are unnerving.” Oswald said with a shake of his head.

“They are technically young adults, Oswald.” Nygma approached them with a professional air, the same one he used whenever Jim was around (according to Oswald) “But I agree, it was a good speech.”

“You should know, you helped me redact it.” Oswald smiled at Ed in a companionable way, Ed’s smile was a little more tense; he still held a grudge against Jim because of Arkham and Jim also had more than a few things to hate him for, but they had to stay civil if only for Oswald’s sake. “We better get out of here, we have a meeting soon and the parents will be trying to get our attention if we stay until the end of the ceremony.”

“I’ll walk you to your car.” Jim offered his arm to his boyfriend and kept a steady, slow pace for him.

Oswald practically preened when they exited the building and flashes and questions surrounded them as if they didn’t see their Mayor almost every day. Oswald’s security and the GCPD officers made way for them to walk through without obstacles.

“You’re going back to the precinct, right?” Oswald asked him as the door to the limousine opened and Ed boarded the vehicle.

“Yes, but I’ll call you tonight.” Jim promised “And I won’t miss tomorrow’s dinner for anything in the world so I better get everything done before then.”

“I’ll hold you to that, James Gordon.” Oswald smiled and pulled softly on Jim’s lapel to peck his lips. That was as far as they went when it came to kissing in public.

Jim waited until Oswald’s car was out of sight to go back to his. He still had to get used to the press chasing after him when there was no grand case or some GCPD rumor for them to pester him, but he was getting better at ignoring them rather quickly. Oswald had told him once not to talk to the press if he didn’t want to and that they would address their relationship always together. He intended to follow that instruction; they didn’t need any misunderstandings to drive a wedge between them after what they’d gone through already.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty busy. He spent most of the time interrogating a couple of prisoners that had been captured that morning. The interrogation went as well as one could expect with suspects that had more teeth than coherency and he had to make do with what little he was able to get from them for the paperwork. He also spent almost an hour talking to Lee about what Strange had done to the suspects and about what _they_ had done to the mauled victim they had found next to the pair.

It was well past sunset when he handed the finished paperwork to Harvey, almost ten according to his watch.

He hurried back to his place, showered and phoned Oswald while eating a re-heated piece of pizza. Oz was just about to head to bed when he called and Jim apologized for the hour, his boyfriend complained playfully and reminded him to be on time the next day. Jim hadn’t been in a relationship where good night calls were a thing in years, it felt innocent to not go back to an apartment with someone, but rather make time to talk over the phone with them.

It was refreshing to see how different Oswald was in a relationship to what Jim had expected; it was showing him more sides of the mobster that Jim hadn’t seen previously and he was eager to explore them. Now Jim knew for certain that the wide-eyed wonder he saw in Oz when they had just met was pure, that his earnest attitude was honest and his hopeful smiles were real.

Part of him wished they had gotten together much sooner, Jim was loving what they had and the idea that he had let the opportunity pass by him for so long never failed to make him feel stupid. Another part of him, though, insisted that this was the best time to have gotten together: Oswald was a respected and beloved public figure now, a former crime boss who was “rehabilitated” and declared sane (even though Jim knew Oswald was still in control of the underbelly and had broken through the mental torture Strange put him through) and who had done more for Gotham in a few months than Aubrey James ever did in years. Their relationship was better received now than it could have ever been before.

Jim kicked himself mentally: Why did he care? He shouldn’t care, not anymore. 

He wished Oz a good night and went to bed without doing the dishes; they could wait until next morning.

Before turning off the lamp on his nightstand, he took a look into the black box resting there: Inside laid a tie pin in the form of a sword, it was made of gold and the handle had rubies, diamonds and three pearls. It had cost him more than he thought he’d ever spend on a tie pin and still felt like it wasn’t enough for Oswald, whose ties could amount to three times what Jim would earn in a lifetime working at the GCPD.

Perhaps, he had thought as he handed his card to the cashier, it was too much for their first month. It could be perfect for their actual first anniversary, but he wanted to show Oswald he was willing to make the relationship last, that it was serious and didn’t care what he had to do to prove it (as long as it wasn’t against the law). It could be a materialistic representation but hoped the message was clear.

Oswald had assured Jim that he didn’t need to buy anything for their one-month celebration, but he knew Oz would get him something and he didn’t want to be the only one receiving a gift. It had been hours of looking through jewelry stores’ apparels until he found a pin that fit Oswald _and_ was within his budget, at last. It didn’t help lessen the trepidation.

With a nervous sigh, Jim put down the present and laid down under the covers, finally turning off his lamp. He tossed and turned for what could have been hours, the knot in the pit of his stomach making him unable to fall asleep regardless of the breathing exercises Lee had recommended and his attempts to quiet his mind.

Perhaps, having a relationship in which he felt like a teenager again wasn’t all that good after all. He needed to get a grip before he could make a fool of himself for the uptenth time.

* * *

Jim didn’t know when he had finally lost consciousness but he woke up to his alarm ringing annoyingly. He couldn’t have slept more than two hours, he was exhausted, anxious and fuzzy. Not the greatest way to start the day.

With a groan, James left his bed and got ready to leave for work. The cup of black coffee he used to wash down the last slice of pizza made his head feel much clearer, enough to send Oswald a good morning text and being the first one to say “Happy Month-versary” (as Ed called it). He didn’t receive a response until he was locking his door from the outside:

_Good morning, my dear. I’ll tell Ed you used his word, he made it up originally to annoy you. Happy One-month Anniversary! I can’t wait to see you tonight, I’ll be counting down the seconds until we meet again. -O.C._

Jim smiled softly at the message. It was so much like Oswald that he could hear the words spoken with his voice. He usually wasn’t too fond of text messages but calls required some level of privacy and time allowance that neither one of them possessed as much as they would have liked so Jim found himself having to empty his inbox more often than he had to with Barbara or Lee or anyone else he had dated as an adult.

It was nice.

_Focus on your work, Mr. Mayor; Gotham needs your full attention. I will require you to concentrate on me tonight. -J.G._

Jim smiled to himself as he flipped the phone closed, Oswald was undoubtedly blushing now with a bashful smile on his lips. He’d discovered that it was remarkably easy to make Oz blush and was more than willing to do it as many times a day as he could, even when he couldn’t see it in person. The mere mental picture was enough to spread a pleasant warmth through his chest.

He made it to his car and went to get -yet another- coffee for himself and Harvey; the older man would never forgive him if he bought something for himself without bringing the “great acting Captain” a cup and a pastry at the very least. Fortunately, he had saved enough money to get that small luxury.

On his way to the precinct, James’ phone rang, Harvey’s name appeared on the screen and he answered without slowing down in case there was an emergency.

“Gordon.”

_“Jim, where are you?”_ Harvey sounded curious but not alarmed so Jim felt instantly more at ease.

“I’m on my way to the precinct, should be there in five to ten minutes.”

_“Could you do me a favor and pick up a copy of the Gazette? I had to arrive earlier and couldn’t get it on my way.”_

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you in a bit.” Jim assured before hanging up.

Harvey without reading The Gotham Gazette in the morning was like Harvey drinking coffee without some greasy, sweetened pastry. Jim didn’t mind though, he had made it a habit by now to read the newspaper himself once Harvey was done so he was technically buying it for both of them.

He parked a few streets away from the precinct by the first newsstand he saw and went to buy the Gazette. Before he could pick up the newspaper, something else caught his attention: A couple of inches to the left of it there was a tabloid. He recognized it right away as one that had shown support for Oswald from the moment he had launched his campaign and had posted positive articles ever since.

This one though, with a cover displaying Jim and Oswald outside Gotham High School, had a rather worrying title in big, bold, yellow letters:

**_‘Is Mayor Cobblepot dating a golddigger?’_ **

Before he could even think better about it, Jim took the tabloid and looked for the article. It was two-pages long and the more he read, the worse he felt:

_‘... Mayor Cobblepot and Detective Gordon share a questionable history of animosity and hatred towards one another…’_

That was not true; Jim had never hated Oswald... Did Oswald hate him at one point? Jim had certainly done his fair share of deeds to gain Oz’s hatred.

_‘... Their relationship seemed to improve soon after Mayor Cobblepot’s campaign was launched, once Mr. Cobblepot had inherited millions of dollars from his late father, Elijah Van Dahl, along with all of his properties and belongings. We can’t help but wonder if the sudden increase in Mayor Cobblepot’s financial worth had anything to do with the Detective’s sudden interest in him.’_

Oswald’s money had absolutely nothing to do with his decision! He had liked Oswald way before he got that inheritance, but he had kept his distance because of their jobs and because he had hurt Oz so much that Jim didn’t feel like he deserved to be next to him. He tried again once it was safer for them to be together and it was working out fine! Or, well, at least he thought it was.

_‘It is no secret that James Gordon’s financial record isn’t great. He used to be engaged to former-socialité Barbara Kean and, while it could be a coincidence that he is dating someone with much more money than him again, when there is such a class difference between the two halves of a couple, questions can arise.’_

That wasn’t fair. Jim really did love Barbara when they were together, he was never with her because of her money or name or power and he certainly was not dating Oswald for those reasons either. If Oswald lost everything tomorrow, Jim would still be with him and offer everything and anything in his power to the man. He would only leave Oswald if Oswald wanted to break things off.

And even then, he’d still try to have _some_ kind of relationship with him, no matter if it was just a platonic one.

_‘Now that Mayor Oswald Cobblepot is being surrounded by men closer to his social class, perhaps it is time to look for someone better fit for him. Someone who can provide to the relationship as much as the Mayor can: From sons of Gotham’s richest families to his very own Chief of Staff, whose monthly salary accounts for more that Gordon’s yearly income._

_Whatever the case, we hope our dear Mayor finds someone who is worthy of him and loves him the way he deserves to be loved.’_

“Hey, man, are you gonna buy that or what?” The vendor’s voice broke through Jim’s thoughts, startling him into dropping the tabloid.

“No, no; just the Gazette.” Jim tried to put everything back in place, took a copy of the newspaper and paid leaving more than twice its price as tip. He didn’t care… wait! He _should_ care, wasn’t that what his entire turmoil was about?

He just kept walking to his car and started it back up.

Was that really what Oswald’s supporters saw when they were together? It could just be the reporters, of course; publishing their opinion on a biased redaction. And, maybe, some of their readers would agree with them or start thinking like them; that was irrelevant, Jim of all people knows how the masses can be swayed by words.

No, none of that really worried him, at least, not how it used to. What all those strangers gossiped among themselves was their own problem. There _was_ one thing he did care about, however:

Did Oswald think that about him? Would he after reading the article? He usually didn’t read tabloids but the rumors did make it to his ears during public appearances and this was one rumor Jim didn’t want his boyfriend to hear. He didn’t want Oswald to feel like he needed to reassure him or defend him or _help him_.

The mere thought made him feel like a burden.

The notion didn’t leave him until he arrived to the GCPD, when he delivered the Gazette and food to Harvey’s desk.

“Something wrong, Jim?”

“No.” He knew he had answered too fast when Harvey raised one of his eyebrows “Nothing serious, Harvey.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem to talk about it.”

Jim debated the offer. Harvey still wasn’t very fond of Oswald but he supported their relationship so long as Jim was happy. And Jim really needed a friend.

“Do you think I’m a golddigger?”

“What?” Harvey’s shock was evident in his voice and face “Where did you get that idea from?”

“Well, there was this tabloid-”

“For fuck’s sake, Jim, what are you doing reading that crap?”

“I know, I know, but it was one of the tabloids that supports Oswald so I got curious.”

“How can you even consider that? You had a thing for Penguin way before he got all that money and he practically fell for you at first sight.”

“I obviously know I’m not with Oz for his money.” Jim closed the door to Harvey’s office and took a seat across from the older man “But maybe _he_ thinks I am. Our relationship certainly got better after he won the election, so, does Oswald believe I am interested in his wealth or position.”

“Has he complained?”

“Of course not. I’m sure Oswald’s feelings are completely honest and they are strong, possibly more than mine, so I don’t want him thinking that I’m with him for anything other than himself.” Jim explained and sighed “I want him to know he could lose everything at any moment and I’d still be by his side.”

“You’ve told him so before, I’m sure Penguin knows.” Harvey looked at him expectantly and Jim didn’t dare to meet his partner’s eyes “Wait, you haven’t told him?”

“It’s just that I still haven’t learned to express my feelings properly and, well, Oswald has never asked me for anything.” The more Jim spoke, the worse he felt; he really was an absolute idiot “Oh, fuck.”

“How did you manage to hold onto women long enough to get engaged to them?”

“You’re not helping!”

“Look, pal, all of this would be so much easier if you just told him what you told me. You have that dinner tonight with him, right?” Harvey waited for Jim to nod before continuing “Don’t mess it up, you better tell him tonight or I swear to God I’ll shove that tabloid up your ass and leave it there until you do.”

“Fine.” Jim chuckled “Always great to hear your support.”

“I’ll always be there to snap you out of it when you are being an idiot.” Harvey assured “I might have to start charging you with the record you’re keeping.”

Jim threw Harvey a mocking frown that got a snicker out of the older man. He was glad to have talked to someone who actually helped him reach a conclusion. It was stupid how this insecurity only existed because of him and maybe he had been hurting Oswald without knowing. That was going to change that night.

With newfound confidence, Jim went back to his desk and got to work. He had to finish early if he wanted to make it to dinner on time.

* * *

Jim raced back to his apartment as soon as Harvey gave him the go ahead. He showered, picked out one of his “best” suits and put the most effort he had in a long while in his appearance. If he wanted to make this night perfect, he had to do his very best to be up to par with the ocasion.

Before leaving, he made sure to pick up his present and place it safely in his coat inner-pocket. He still wasn’t entirely sure on giving it to Oswald, but if he wanted to be honest, he might as well give it his all.

The drive there was unremarkable enough to have him parking in front of the Van Dahl manor five minutes before the agreed time. Well, at least Oswald couldn’t complain about him being late.

After one last look in the rearview mirror and the millionth pat on his pocket to corroborate the box was still there, he left his car and went to ring the doorbell. He was able to see a few of Oswald’s security men patrolling the mansion’s grounds, but they were pretty far away so privacy was still guaranteed for them. Not that they had gone too far in the relationship yet anyway.

It was only a couple of seconds before the front door opened. Olga looked at him and smiled slightly as she moved aside to let him in. 

“Good evening, Olga.”

“Welcome, Detective.” She answered, her words heavily accented, but understandable.

Jim took a quick look around the place, more out of habit than anything else. The dim lighting was cozy and the enticing smell of food reminded him that he had skipped lunch that day. The ambiance was perfect, usual for Oswald, what was unusual was his absence.

“Where is Oswald?” He asked the maid.

“I’m here, Jim!” Oswald appeared from the sitting room, he looked uncharacteristically guilty and more than a little disheveled “I’m here.”

“Everything ok?” Jim asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. I apologize, I was distracted.” Oswald offered him a strained smile and distracted attempts to fix his wrinkled sleeves that did nothing to convince him “Thank you, Olga, you may retire now.”

“Have a good night, Mr. Cobblepot, Detective.” Olga said and walked towards the stairs without looking back.

“Oz, is there something wrong?” Jim repeated his concern once the woman’s footsteps faded away. He took hold of Oswald’s elbow in case the mobster decided to make a run for it.

“I don’t know.” Oswald was looking intently at the floor and his shoulders were too tense for Jim to ignore “Maybe we should just go eat.”

“No, there’s something bothering you and I want to know what it is.”

Oz’s green eyes finally met with his. Jim hadn’t seen such fear in those orbs since the day at the pier, when Oswald was pleading for his life and Jim’s heart first clenched at the sight of him. The first in the long line of instances where he’d let his morals twist with the excuse that there were other things with more weight than getting Oswald behind bars, and he still couldn’t shake off the instinct to protect the mobster to this day. If Oswald was in any kind of distress, Jim would make sure to help him take care of it.

With a reassuring squeeze to his arm, Jim took the smaller man to the sitting room from which Oswald had appeared and sat with him in the loveseat across from the lit fireplace. Jim finally let go of his boyfriend and waited silently, trying to swallow back the bile in his mouth as fear settled on him.

Had Oswald seen the tabloid? Was that what had him so upset? Jim balled his hands, pulling at the legs of his pants tightly. He had hoped to talk to Oz before the rumors reached him but it was obvious that he had heard them already.

“Jim, maybe this relationship wasn’t such a good idea.” Jim was sure he heard his heart crack at those words.

“What?”

“It may be in our best interest to break this off.”

Jim’s hands flew from his pants to Oswald’s hands; he needed something to hang onto before the world around him disappeared into a void.

“Please, tell me this isn’t about the tabloid- actually, tell me if it is; it will make this much easier to explain.” Jim pleaded, finding laurel-colored pools fixing on his face, as if looking for something.

“Jim, you have nothing to explain.” Oswald told him in a murmur, his watery eyes revealing more than his limp hands and slouched posture.

“Yes, I do; I want to make clear the reason I’m with you.”

“You’re with me because you’re a good man, Jim.” Oswald replied, shocking him “It’s one of the things I lo- appreciate the most about you, but you don’t need to feel like you’re stuck with me.”

“Stuck with you?” Jim repeated confused “I don’t understand, what do you mean?”

“You mentioned the tabloid, Jim; you know what I mean.”

“I’m not stuck with you-” Jim insisted tightening his hold on Oswald’s hands “I may not have a lot of money but I would never be in a relationship with someone who does just for interest.”

“No, of course not Jim, I would never want you to feel like you’re selling yourself.”

“And I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you-”

“You aren’t, I know you aren’t and that’s why we need to end this; so people don’t keep thinking that you stay with me because I pay you.” Oswald’s hands twitched in his as he spoke “You need to find someone more deserving of being seen next to you.”

“Next to me?” For a moment there, Jim thought he was getting somewhere, but Oz seemed to have misread the message “Oswald, you got it wrong; it’s me who’s been judged for going after your money.”

“That’s not true, at all; it was made clear that they think I’m using you as an escort or something.” Now Oswald looked as lost as Jim felt.

“There has to be a misunderstanding; the tabloid was about me being a golddigger.”

“What? No it wasn’t!” Oswald pulled away from him and rose to his feet. He went to the armchair and reached for something under the cushion; a tabloid, different to the one Jim had read “Look.”

Jim took the item and read the headline. That alone was enough to have him seeing red:

**_‘Money can’t buy love, but the Mayor may rent it.’_ **

The cover was yet another picture of him and Oswald outside the high school, the title was printed over it in red and black letters and a couple of dollar signs were at the end of the sentence with yellow sparkles around them. This was one of the publications that usually criticized Oswald in a bad way; the total opposite of the one he had read and, even if this was to be expected, he still felt the need to punch something. Before he could rip the paper with his bare hands, he looked for the article: He had to know how deep this shit went.

_‘Mayor Cobblepot, whose love story is emptier than his promises, surprised Gotham when he announced his relationship with Detective James Gordon a mere five months after he took office and some people can’t help but wonder how such a thing was achieved so quickly.’_

He read it as fast as he had read the first one, focusing only in lines that held information important to him. It was weird how similar the lines sounded to the other tabloid but it was disconcerting how different they read.

_‘Detective Gordon is known for his positive influence on the citizens since his arrival to Gotham and has previously been involved with beautiful and remarkable women and knew when to end a relationship with a dangerous character. It seems his common sense was lost after his time as Bounty Hunter however, if his newest partner is anything to go by.’_

Oh, they were taking aim at Oswald’s criminal background again. Jim knew for a fact that his boyfriend still ran the underground, but crime had lowered and there had been no cases that could be traced back to the Mayor so the reporters had nothing on him. However, there was something to that paragraph that rubbed him the wrong way -more than it already was.

_‘...With their more than rocky past, what could have suddenly prompted the detective to date a reformed criminal? Everyone has theories and it is this team’s right to share our own. Mayor Cobblepot’s image has a lot to make up for, not only for his past but also that of his security team and his Chief of Staff, how can he win more acceptance in a fast and easy way? Why, having a relationship with an exceptional character, of course.’_

Even through the pages, Jim could see a teasing smirk on an otherwise featureless face. The paper wrinkled even more under his aggressive hold.

_‘...A person needs to survive and money is a necessity nowadays, no one could judge Detective Gordon if he found an easy way to make money legally out of the most powerful person in Gotham. Who would decline such an offer?…_

_… Certainly, this could be a love story for the ages, but the great unbalance between both men makes room for questions: From the abysmal difference in wealth to their completely opposite attractiveness level, we must wait to see how this develops.’_

Jim finally gave in and tore the tabloid in half. It did very little to appease him but it was better than nothing. How dare they write something like that?

“Jim?” Oswald’s curious voice made the throbbing in his ears mute instantly. Oz was less scared now but just as befuddled as he sat next to him again.

“Oz, you don’t believe anything of what is written there, right?” Jim rested his hand on Oswalds knee, trying to be as comforting as possible with that simple touch.

“I… I’m not sure.” Oswald’s shaky response broke Jim’s heart all over again “I really hadn’t thought about anything concerning our relationship before, I was just so happy that we had something going on that I didn’t question it.”

“I’ve never questioned it either,” Jim admitted with a sigh “Not until the tabloid I mean.”

“So, you agree with-”

“No! God, no!” Jim cut Oswald before he could finish that sentence “Well, for starters, I hadn’t read that article before; I read the other tabloid, the one that always praises you.”

“Oh, and they had a similar article?”

“In a way, but they theorized on the fact that I somehow enamoured you because I wanted to have access to your bank account.”

“What?!” Oswald went from sad to irate in the blink of an eye, Jim had to hold onto his thigh to keep him from jumping to his feet “That’s preposterous!”

“It wasn’t to me, not at first.” Jim’s voice was calm, this was a conversation they needed to have.

“Jim, the sole idea is ridiculous.”

“That’s not the point, the point is that you shouldn’t have doubts about our relationship and I shouldn’t fear that you do.” Explained Jim, glad that he was feeling braver with every word “I’ve realized that I created the problem and it’s in my hands to solve it.”

Oswald stared at him, letting him continue without interruptions. Jim wasn’t sure if that meant his boyfriend knew what he meant or if he was waiting for an explanation. He opened his mouth and tried to open himself up...

He couldn’t.

He was a coward.

“Why did you accept to be my boyfriend?” Jim asked instead, he wanted to be honest, but he needed a push first “You accepted right away, no questions asked.”

“I didn’t want to look at the gift horse in the mouth.” Oswald took a deep breath and let it out slowly “I’d been wanting to be with you for so long that I wasn’t going to question it.”

“That’s not like you.”

“It’s a selfish decision, of course it’s like me.”

“How is it selfish?”

“Jim, I’m not blind or stupid.” Oswald started and Jim hated everything about how that sounded “You always avoided me like the plague unless you needed something and none of your previous paramours looked anything like me. You’re kind, smart, brave, attractive; you’re someone everyone should aspire to be and you could have whoever you wanted standing next to you.”

“Osw-”

“If I had questioned you-” The smaller man interrupted, his glassy eyes twisting Jim’s insides painfully “If I mentioned any curiosity, you would have realized that as well and I’d lose you. I’m selfish, because I don’t want to let you go, no matter if there’s a million people in the world who deserve you more than I do; I want you to stay with me.”

A single tear escaped from Oswald’s left eye and Jim reached for Oswald’s cheek without hesitance. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and left his palm against the other’s skin. It was worse than Jim had imagined and it was more than enough to have him talking; he also had to share his vulnerability. It was only fair.

“After everything I’ve done, I can’t believe you still think that way about me.” Jim made sure to keep Oswald’s attention on him, his need to change that miserable expression was his drive to keep talking “But I want you to understand something: I am not going anywhere.”

“For now.”

“You said I could have whoever I wanted next to me, you’re right, because the one I want is you.” Jim said slowly, making sure all his words got through Oswald’s stubborn brain “I didn’t want to admit it before, I made sure to keep my distance and I regret so much of that. I treated you so badly I was sure you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“It’s all forgiven.” Oswald assured hurriedly and Jim moved to take his pale hands again to keep him still.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I can take what we have for granted; you have the right to know why I decided to date you.” Jim cleared his throat and started “Over the last couple of years, you’ve let me see beyond your mobster image: You’re thoughtful, intelligent, loyal to those you care about, daring and with clear objectives. You protect what’s important to you including the city, you’ve shown me the amazing heart that sacrificed everything for your mother and let me walk free when I should have been behind bars for Galavan.”

“Jim, you don’t-”

“Please, let me finish.” Interrupted Jim this time, appreciating the pink hue that spread across Oswald’s cheeks “If you’re selfish then so am I, because I don’t want to let any of that go. Also, you’re too fucking cute when you blush and I refuse to give up my right to see it everyday.”

The last statement was meant to lighten the mood and Oswald’s beautiful smile was worth the shot. To drive his point across, he pecked Oswald’s nose, his blush intensified to the point where his entire face turned red, his freckles visible like strawberry seeds.

“I’m sorry I never told you any of this before.”

“I’m not.” Oswald said, tears falling freely now that Jim hurried to wipe with his thumbs, holding Oswald’s face carefully with his hands, his smile still present “I love you.”

“What?” Had he actually said that?

“I love you, Jim.” Oswald said with bright eyes and warm cheeks and honest glee. Jim’s heart did a somersault that made him jump in his seat and throw his arms around the slighter male. He never knew how much he needed to hear that until Oswald said it.

“Me too.” It took a moment for Jim to realize that he needed to say it too, if he really wanted to move forward “I love you too.”

Oswald pulled back from the hug and gave him a quick peck on the lips. It wasn’t enough. Jim moved his hand to the back of Oswald’s head and pulled him in for a firmer, longer, deeper kiss that he engraved in his memory; every movement and sound and sensation. It was just what he needed after such a stressful and liberating situation, he felt life returning to him through the contact with the smaller man, those thin hands on his hair forcing his senses into overdrive and the chest against his making his blood pump faster and harder. Jim had forgotten the last time he really had the need to cling to life so strongly.

There was something pressing against Jim’s chest that distracted him enough to break the kiss softly. As his brain recovered oxygen, he remembered his gift. Now more than ever, he wanted Oswald to have it.

He took a few deep breaths and combed his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it after Oswald’s treatment.

“Oz, I know you said I didn’t have to get you anything, but I wanted to show you how much this relationship means to me.” Jim took the black box from his pocket and presented it to Oswald “I hope you like it.”

“Oh, Jim, you shouldn’t have.” Oswald smiled tenderly and took the box without opening it just yet “Does that mean I’m allowed to give you what I got for you?”

“I knew you would get me something.” Jim chuckled but extended his hand nonetheless.

Jim gave him a similar box in size and color, but it weighted quite a bit more.

“Open yours first.” Oswald said with eager eyes. Jim couldn’t deny him anything with that expression.

Inside the box, attached to a velvety holder, there was a pair of golden cufflinks with one big, rectangular, black gem in the middle and a smaller, blue gem on the left and right side of both pieces.

“Are those sapphires?” Jim asked with a knot in his throat.

“Yes, and that’s black diamond.” The excitement in Oswald’s voice denoted how oblivious he was to Jim’s current turmoil “Do you like it?”

“They’re beautiful, Oz, but they look very expensive.” Jim said truthfully, the other man’s face fell instantly.

“Oh, yes, I suppose they are.”

“I love them, I really do!” He quickly pressed the present to his chest and took Oswald’s free hand in a reassuring hold “I’ll just have to save them for special occasions, I can’t wear them to work without risking losing them. I don’t often wear cufflinks unless it’s a special event.”

“You don’t have to accept them if they make you feel uncomfortable.” Oswald took his hand from Jim’s and tried to reach for the cufflinks. Jim stretched his arm high above his head to keep the box out of reach “James!”

“I really do like them and I love that you got me a present.” Jim assured “I just want to compromise. You know I have a hard time accepting things from others but this is from _you_ , there’s no way I would reject anything from you; just, let me decide when to wear them.”

Oswald dropped his arm but was still frowning, Jim had to add something to his words.

“How about this? You can get me any present you want _as long as_ it’s something useful and only on special days like a birthday or anniversary or something.” Jim proposed, finally relaxing his posture again “In exchange, I will accept and use each and every one of them without a single word about the price. Deal?”

Oswald seemed to think it over for a moment before finally extending his hand with a satisfied smile.

“Deal.” Jim smiled back and shook hands with him. It was not something he expected but it rarely was the case with Oswald.

“Now you open yours.” Jim prompted, hiding his anxiety the best he could.

Oswald opened his present slowly. As soon as his eyes rested on the pin Jim heard Oswald’s breath hitch. He kept looking as Oswald took the pin from the box and rested it on his palm as if it were the most precious treasure in the world.

“This is beautiful, Jim.” Oswald said with a big smile that let Jim breathe easy again “Thank you! You must have spent a lot on this.”

“I just wanted to give you something that showed you I’m here for the long run.” Jim explained, feeling his cheeks heat up “I don’t have much to offer, even less when you deserve the world, but I wanted it to be special.”

“Don’t say that!” Oswald exclaimed with a pout “You can’t undermine yourself while you date me! I don’t care if you give me a flower from the park because I will love whatever you get me.” Oswald returned the pin to its box and cupped Jim’s face tenderly “Paraphrasing you: I will never reject anything from you.”

Jim grinned and kissed his boyfriend’s nose again. How stupid had he been all this time.

“No, how about we go eat that dinner? I’m starving.” Jim proposed, his new cufflinks going directly into his pocket.

“We’ll need to reheat some of the dishes.” Oswald said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

“That’s fine, I get to spend more time with you.” Jim stood up and offered his hand to help Oz rise from the loveseat. Oswald accepted and immediately pressed against him so his mouth was right next to Jim’s ear.

“Perhaps, it’s about time you spend _the night_ with me.”

Best Month-versary ever! 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for making it this far! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
